As most people know, there are two kinds of cleaning. There is regular old cleaning. The everyday stuff. Dust, vacuum, laundry, dishes. You know, the stuff that keeps you from being on a show like Hoarders. The kind of cleaning that, on a really good day, might leave your family room looking like you don't have kids.
And then there is CLEANING. You know, the kind of cleaning where you empty drawers, move furniture, take out bags and bags of garbage, re-discover lost items and the surface of those clutter spots. And even after you are done, the house doesn't look clean.
I didn't get up today planning on CLEANING. My plan was to dust the downstairs. But, I have ADHD tendencies and OCD, and like some people get distracted by shiny things, I get distracted by clutter. The first was simple enough. I needed to dust the dining room. I used the dining room to wrap all our Christmas presents, so I had to clean up first. (No, we have not eaten at our dining room table since before Thanksgiving) Clean off table. See bin of clothes that G-man has outgrown, and remember that I need to send them to his cousin. Sort that bin, put clothes in a box, put bin next to stairs to go to attic. Then I decide that I need to break down the boxes that are still in the dining room from gifts. We are only allowed the recycling that will fit in our bin. If we put recycling next to the bin, even if it is huge and obviously recyclable (like the boxes that a dollhouse and a pottery barn chair came in) the recycle truck won't take it, the trash people will. So we have to sort-of dole out our recycling after we make a big purchase, or after a holiday. Boxes broken down, I take the smaller stuff to the garage, and use the large boxes to block the doorway to the dining room so the dogs can't go in. Thus, even though I CLEANED out the entire room, it still looks like crap.
The bins need to go upstairs, so I carry them up. There was an empty one, so I decide to empty a nightstand in G-man's room and take it downstairs. G-man is getting a big-boy bed and a new dresser, so we will need to re-home some of his furniture. I get the nightstand cleaned out, and I move it to the hall. Go downstairs with all the dirty laundry, put the wash from last night into the dryer and start another load of clothes. Go to the den to move the phone table so that I can bring down the nightstand. But then realize that I want to tidy up the wetbar area. The previous homeowners must have been big drinkers- we have a wet bar in the family room, and another in the basement. My long term plan is to take the sink out of the den, and just put built-ins in. For now, the sink is full of yarn and other knitting stuff. I move the yarn and knitting, find: a pair of Ellie's pants, a pair of my shoes, a sweater of Brenna's, and four coasters. But, since I haven't brought the furniture down, I have no place to put the rest of the stuff- an entire year's worth of Family magazine, nail polish, cotton balls, some dog stuff.
No matter. I go to put some post-its in the secretary in the kitchen. You know, that area of the kitchen that should be really useful- a little desk with some handy storage cubbies and drawers. That area where EVERYTHING that doesn't really belong in the kitchen gets piled. I have a computer there, which I put there in hopes that it would help me to keep the area clean. HA! So, I decide I am going to clean this area up. I throw a lot of things away. Expired coupons, old Christmas cards (sorry, if there is no photo on your card, it gets trashed!) One of those coupon books that is supposed to save you a bunch of money, but never really pays off (it expired last year) All that kind of stuff. Success! I can see the top of the desk. Yes, there is still a can of red spray paint behind the computer, but I will deal with that later.
Having broken down a bunch of boxes already, I decide that I need to get rid of the boxes that we are currently using in the place of furniture. I move the phone table next to Elf's play kitchen, you know, because she needs more counter space she has so much play food! Now, I have someplace to move the nightstand to.
Then I figure, you know, before my mom gave me this couchback table, all this crap on it was put away someplace. Clear off the table (between clothes that need to be put away, trash, and everything else, I pared it down to a small bin of stuff that actually needs to be in the den. That stuff all fit under the pack n play. Well, since I had broken down the box that blocked the dogs from getting in the diaper pail, I need something (a trash can) to put the wet bag in. Oh, there is one in the office. Filled with about a year's worth of trash from the office (no worries, it is all paper and plastic stuff!) I fill two trashbags from there, take the trash can into the den. There. One corner looks nice. Bring the nightstand (which is solid wood) down without killing myself. Put stuff in it. There, I now have achieved one desktop that can (mostly) be seen, and two tidy corners of the den.
But now it is lunch time, and I have to feed the kids. That done, it is nap time. Then I remember... I emptied out and moved the other nightstand in G-man's room but left a bunch of stuff up there. Well, since G-man is in a toddler bed, he often climbs out. So nothing pointy, toxic, or otherwise dangerous can be left in his room. So I quickly throw all that stuff into a bag and take it downstairs so that naptime can happen.
At this point, my house still looks trashed. As I type this, there are two loads of laundry to fold, a bag of stuff that needs to be sorted at the bottom of the stairs, two bins that need to go to the attic at the top of the stairs, and of course, a kitchen and den that definitely look like I have kids. Possibly a dozen of them. And that I might just be on the verge of being turned in to that Hoarders show.
Oh, well.
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